When you find yourself starting to get triggered, angry, defensive, intimidated, overwhelmed (which are, of course, very normal human reactions to stressors in our lives) - do you immediately jump to conclusions?
Most of us do. When someone cancels a meeting or date, we might conclude that we are not perceived as valuable by the other person. When someone yells or act angry, we might assume we have done something to cause it. When we feel overwhelmed by complexity, we might conclude the task is impossible or beyond our capabilities.
By doing this, we lose our sense of having choices, and can easily take on a victim role.
What if, instead, next time you made a conscious choice to start with questions? Play with bewilderment and being curious. What are all the possible reasons this person could be acting this way toward me? Is it possible this person has had a bad day before they got to me? Is it possible their anger has nothing to do with me? Is it possible they are rescheduling so they have more time or can have better focus for our meeting? When feeling overwhelmed - who could help me with this?
I will bet that even one minute grounding yourself in questions and options will begin to shift your perspective away from negative conclusions or self-talk, and into the realm of many more options for moving forward in a productive way.